they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
