You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If that was your dad, he is hot
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
