she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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