My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
My balls are so social today.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
