I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
