Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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