just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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