chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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