What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
