I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
