Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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