I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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