I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
