oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
