Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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