We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm always down for nudity.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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