Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
