party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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