I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
