Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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