Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.