Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.