how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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