I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
