you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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