I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
