I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
