Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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