What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
