sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
