Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
