They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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