ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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