You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
