You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
