he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
