Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
