we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
