meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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