yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
