I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
