Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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