Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i dont even know how to be here
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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