I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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