dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
