I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have already put on my inside pants.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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