He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
