If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
