did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
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Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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