Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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