so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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