There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
