We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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