This house was built for laser tag.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize