Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
