so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
