honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
