the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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