I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
