Already got asked if we're dating
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
