I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
