Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
