Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize