i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
