Porn is love you can see.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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