my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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