I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
