eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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